Friday, August 31, 2012

Cheap Chinese steel threatens Japan mills: report

Intraday Data provided by SIX Financial Information and subject to terms of use. Historical and current end-of-day data provided by SIX Financial Information. Intraday data delayed per exchange requirements. S&P/Dow Jones Indices (SM) from Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All quotes are in local exchange time. Real time last sale data provided by NASDAQ. More information on NASDAQ traded symbols and their current financial status. Intraday data delayed 15 minutes for Nasdaq, and 20 minutes for other exchanges. S&P/Dow Jones Indices (SM) from Dow Jones & Company, Inc. SEHK intraday data is provided by SIX Financial Information and is at least 60-minutes delayed. All quotes are in local exchange time.

Source: http://feeds.marketwatch.com/~r/marketwatch/marketpulse/~3/TTtobK4qddg/story.aspx

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A-Rod?hitless in first rehab appearance

Associated Press Sports

updated 9:55 p.m. ET Aug. 31, 2012

LAKELAND, Fla. (AP) - New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez went 0-for-3 with a walk on Friday in his first rehab appearance since going on the disabled list on July 25 with a fractured left hand. He led off and started as designated hitter for the Tampa Yankees in a Class A game against the Lakeland Flying Tigers.

In his first at-bat, he grounded weakly to shortstop. He walked and scored a run, then struck out in his final two at-bats, stranding two runners.

Rodriguez suffered the injury after being hit by a pitch by Seattle's Felix Hernandez on July 24. Rodriguez is expected to play at third base on Saturday.

Lakeland defeated Tampa, 7-6.

? 2012 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.


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Orioles closing in

Orioles rookie Miguel Gonzalez struck out a career-high nine over seven shutout innings?and Mark Reynolds homered twice as Baltimore moved within two games of New York with a 6-1 victory over the skidding Yankees.

A-Rod?hitless in first rehab appearance

LAKELAND, Fla. (AP) - New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez went 0-for-3 with a walk on Friday in his first rehab appearance since going on the disabled list on July 25 with a fractured left hand. He led off and started as designated hitter for the Tampa Yankees in a Class A game against the Lakeland Flying Tigers.

Source: http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/48868152/ns/sports-baseball/

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Lingering Case Demonstrates Problems With New Mexico's Earlier Use of Death Penalty

New Mexico abolished the death penalty for future offenses in 2009.? However, two people still face execution, including Timothy Allen (pictured), who has been on death row for nearly 17 years.? His superficial trial and woefully inadequate representation reveal systemic flaws in the state's application of capital punishment.? The lead attorney in Allen's trial had never tried a death penalty case before, and failed to research Allen's psychiatric history. Later investigation revealed that Allen had been diagnosed with and treated for schizophrenia and experienced auditory hallucinations. According to one psychiatric report, Allen was psychotic at the time of the murder for which he was sentenced to death, and committed the crime ?while under the influence of command hallucinations, not willfully.? No witnesses were called to testify on Allen's behalf during the sentencing phase of his trial. The supervising attorney who assigned the inexperienced attorney to the case was himself subject to drug testing by a state disciplinary board and was of little help in the case.? Allen's current attorneys argue that the case would be tried very differently today and that he was deprived of his constitutional right to a fair trial.

Allen was found guilty of a 1995 attempted rape and murder of a young woman.?

(L. Linthicum, "We Cannot Be Sloppy With Death Sentences,"?Albuquerque Journal, August 30, 2012).? See Mental Illness and Representation.? Listen to DPIC's podcast on Representation.

Source: http://www.deathpenaltyinfo.org/lingering-case-demonstrates-problems-new-mexicos-earlier-use-death-penalty

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Thursday, August 30, 2012

How Switching to VoIP Can Save You Money

We are a truly global society and communicate with dozens of people on a daily basis, not just locally but globally as well. Long distance communication can get very difficult as it is often of poor quality and the connection often gets disrupted or lost. Sending different data such as images and sound can be very costly, even if just done locally. Luckily by switching to VoIP, this can be solved.

The Problem

Low quality communication and slow connections can be quite costly, especially if you want to have more personal conversations over your phone though video. Sending a large amount of data such as images with sound is very expensive and often also ineffective as the signal is poor and the picture and sound quality is low.

Slow connections can cost you money, as the lengthy time it takes can be expensive and it can also create miscommunication which can cause problems. These problems often take the spending of more money to solve. This is especially true if you are a business and do communication and transactions on a global scale as effective communication is key to earning money and selling your product or services.

The Solution

VoIP uses innovative new technology to help resolve the many problems of standard communication. Through the use of the internet it creates clear signals and allows the effective sending of images, sound and data, both locally and all over the world. This use of the internet combined with good quality technology creates a dramatic decrease in the cost of communications. It gives you the ability to have meaningful conversations with people anywhere in the world as easily as making a phone call.

No longer is there a concern that video chatting and the sending of dynamic information anywhere in the world will result in high costs. This technology also allows you more freedom. For businesses, it lowers costs and allows them to have more meaningful and effective communication, which can actually also help them make money.

Saving Money

The ability to send any amount of data whether it is video, sound or other information anywhere in the world is a great advantage. Being able to do this without having to pay high costs is even better. Regardless if you are a business owner or just want to be able to communicate for personal reasons, this technology will save you money. In global as well as local communications, VoIP is truly innovative in reducing the costs of effective communication.

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Source: http://voip-phone.co.za/how-switching-to-voip-can-save-you-money/

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Opening our anthropological conversations: An Interview with Tom ...

I had the chance to conduct an email-based interview with Tom Boellstorff during this past month to explore some of his views about Open Access (hereafter OA) publishing in anthropology.? Update: You can download a PDF of this interview here.

Ryan Anderson: First of all, thanks for taking the time to do this interview, Tom. Here at Savage Minds we write about Open Access (OA) a lot, and many of our contributors seem to be in agreement about the need to look into alternative publishing options. But not everyone knows about OA or is in agreement with the push to head in that direction, and this includes many people who are well established in anthropology. So, what?s your opinion about OA? Is this an issue that should matter for anthropologists who are already successful within the current publishing regime, for example?

Tom Boellstorff: I think there?s an urgent need to build on the advocacy work a number of people have been doing within and outside the AAA to reach the goal of ?gold? OA (meaning that articles are freely available to download online). In my September 2012 ?From the Editor? piece in American Anthropologist I try to set out my current thinking in regard to this issue. If I can quote from that piece:

There are three primary reasons why this transition to gold open access is imperative, reasons that are simultaneously ethical, political, and intellectual. First, there is a fundamental contradiction between the often-repeated goal of making anthropology more public and relevant on the one hand, and the lack of open access on the other hand. Second, there is an incompatibility between the broad interest in transnationalizing anthropology and the lack of open access. Third, it is wrong for any academic journal to be based on a model where the unremunerated labor of scholars supports corporate profits. I see no way that the current subscription-based model can be modified so as to adequately address these concerns.

In terms of people not being in agreement to head in that direction, which as you say ?includes many people who are well established in anthropology,? I think we need to reach out and work with those folks. The reality is that running a journal well takes money, particularly a larger journal, and I don?t think we want a future where publishing relies on unpaid graduate student labor, farmed-out copy editing, and so on. For me, the issue is that (1) regardless, we need to find a way toward gold OA, and (2) I just refuse to believe that so many smart people can?t find a way to do it.

It may take sacrifice. For instance, I?m not one of those people who hates the AAA meetings. I love them and I think you need to understand the genre. It?s not a small conference where you get to have a focused discussion, but a space of excess where you get to sample cool emerging work, network, meet friends old and new, check out the book exhibit, etc. But what if (and this is just a thought experiment; I haven?t run the numbers) we held the AAAs only every other year, and used that savings to make all AAA journals gold OA? That would be a real sacrifice for me, but it?s one I personally would support. Then in the ?off? years, every other year when there wasn?t a AAA meeting, we could schedule all of the section meetings like the AES meetings and the SCA meetings. They would probably get higher attendance that way, so it might benefit the sections too. Once again: I?m not saying this is a solution, because I haven?t run the numbers. What I?m saying is that it might be that kind of real change, real sacrifice, that would be needed to make gold OA financially viable, and I would argue strongly in favor of this particular sacrifice.

We need to have a lot of brainstorming to think about other possible models. What has been less helpful I think is that we?ve seen some AAA surveys and such that ask ?if you had to pay $250 more in annual fees for gold OA, would you support that?? (I can?t remember the exact phrasing; that?s just my reconstruction.) If you phrase it that way, of course lots of people will pause and say ?no.? The better way to phrase the question is: ?how much would you be willing to pay per year to have AAA journals be gold OA?? And then work backwards from there. But also ask other kinds of questions, like ?Would you support having the AAA meetings only every other year if this meant that all AAA journals could be gold OA??

RA: And here?s a related question: What about upcoming anthropologists who are just getting in on the publishing game? Should they be concerned with these debates about OA? I?m thinking especially of graduate students and new PhD?s who are under tremendous pressure to publish in order to ?make it? in anthropology. Where?s the time to even think about things like OA?

TB: You raise several really great points here, which I?ll address in reverse order.

First, a huge issue with regard to OA debates is that anthropologists are usually too busy to keep up with the debates or even think clearly about the issues. Certainly in my own case, until I became Editor-in-Chief of American Anthropologist I had no real engagement with these issues?not because I didn?t care on an abstract level, but because there was just no time. I don?t have a magic answer to this problem of no time, but it is important to try and educate ourselves and build on the great advocacy work our colleagues have done. The publishers think about these things on a more sustained basis, whereas we do it in the nooks and crannies of time we can find, but just coming together every year at the AAA meetings and saying ?we should all stay in touch about this? clearly isn?t enough.

Second, in regard to your questions about ?upcoming anthropologists who are just getting in on the publishing game.? As you know this is an issue that has been very important to me and I?ve published multiple pieces on ?how to get published? and such during my tenure as American Anthropologist editor (with more coming out this December (2012), which will be the last issue of American Anthropologist appearing under my name). As you note, for graduate students and new Ph.D.s there is ?tremendous pressure to publish in order to ?make it? in anthropology.? But I do think publishing is very important in many ways and isn?t just a game as such. Whether we end up with employment in academia, nonprofits, government, industry, or other venues (and sometimes movement between them), those who hire people have to have a way to calibrate talent and decide who to hire. This is not just a feature of a hard job market or myths of meritocracy narrowly conceived: we always have to make these decisions. Competitive journals are one way of showing that you are seen as a valuable member of your research community. Another is citation patterns: you can have work published in a major venue that isn?t cited much, and work published in venues seen as of a lower status, but that gets cited much more and shapes conversations much more, and that can be taken into account.

Another issue is that for me, publishing is a form of community-building, particularly when conducted through peer review. One reason why the editorship was so exhausting but also gratifying for me was that I spent just as long on my letters of rejection as my letters of acceptance?often they were 15?20 pages long, in many cases longer than the manuscript itself. I once had an article rejected from American Anthropologist but based on the helpful comments, got it published in another good venue (Journal for Linguistic Anthropology). So it is a process and a conversation. That?s one reason I always recommend junior scholars get a manuscript or two under review as quickly as possible after completing the dissertation or even while finishing the dissertation, because this process takes time and you want to get things going.

So graduate students and new Ph.D.s should think about publishing for sure, not just because of the job market but because you can?t just tell people ?my work is really great??if the work is not put into circulation then it can?t contribute to the conversation. It is important for graduate students and new Ph.D.s to learn as much as they can about OA issues, but we really need more senior scholars to take a leadership role because they have the job security and status to do so (even if not as much time as they wish they had!). I became Editor-in-Chief of American Anthropologist at 38 and a full Professor at 40, so I?ve moved comparatively swiftly in my career: at the ripe old age of 43 I still have trouble thinking of myself as ?senior,? but careerwise I am and that?s one reason I?m trying as best I can to keep up with these issues and contribute in any way possible.

RA: I think you make a great point about the importance of ?contributing to the conversation.? I want to go back to where you mentioned competitive journals and citation patterns as tools for evaluating the value of a member of a research community?for hiring practices and so on. That?s pretty much the dominant model from what I understand. Where do you think academic repositories?such as something like the Social Science Research Network (SSRN)?could fit into this scheme?

TB: Hmm. That?s a really great question for which I sadly don?t have an easy answer. Put yourself for a moment in the shoes of someone who is writing a recommendation letter for someone coming up for tenure. So if anyone can get their work uploaded onto the SSRN, what I can say in such a letter? I can evaluate the content of the work of course and advocate for the person on that basis. But it?s also very helpful in some cases to say ?this person has published an article in a very selective journal,? etc. Repositories like the SSRN are important to scholarly dissemination, curation, and so on, but a repository isn?t the same thing as an edited journal.

What I think sometimes gets missed in these debates is that no matter what model you use, there has to be some way to evaluate people. Sadly, it?s not a world where 100 people apply for a job as an Assistant Professor of Anthropology, and all 100 get jobs as an Assistant Professor of Anthropology. The reality is 100 people will apply for such a job, and 20 or 10 or 5 will get that kind of job. Or a staff job at a nonprofit (my first job was Regional Coordinator at the Institute for Community Health Outreach, a nonprofit based in San Francisco that trained Community Health Outreach Workers in HIV/AIDS prevention, and that was a competitive job to get). Or a job in industry, or at a museum, or whatever. No matter what the venue, there has to be a means of evaluation, and selective publication venues are one way of showing one is a leader in one?s field. Repositories are very important, but by their design they aren?t so effective in this regard.

RA: So, in your view, what is the potential role of the American Anthropological Association when it comes to OA publishing? Is the AAA amenable to OA publishing?

TB: Absolutely. First, let me note that Wiley-Blackwell, our corporate publishing partner, is quite friendly to OA in a limited sense; they have gold OA journals and a ?green OA? setup for the AAA journal portfolio that allows authors to circulate ?post-prints? of their manuscripts (the final version before it goes into production). Articles more than 35 years old are also gold OA already. So even W-B is quite open, but within the horizon of a corporate model that as I noted above, I don?t see as ultimately viable as it?s currently structured.

Now, in terms of the AAA: AAA staff and leadership in my experience have no problem with OA publishing. They are usually better educated about these issues than the membership. Here is the problem. First, AAA staff and leadership have the responsibility to keep the journals running, and that?s a big burden. The journals were in financial trouble before the move to W-B, and things have been stabilized in a budgetary sense in the wake of that move. We have to understand the pressures AAA staff and leadership face to keep the lights on so to speak, and the reality that the W-B is working very well in that regard?but once again ?working well? within the horizon of a model that I and many others do not see as either viable in the long term, or ethical in a fundamental sense.

One key issue is that sometimes AAA staff and leadership think not of anthropology writ large, but just of the AAA. I don?t mean to homogenize; this isn?t true across the board or in every instance, but it can happen. It is understandable because that is, once again, their responsibility. So when at least some of these folks think about these issues, what they are thinking about is the health and flourishing of the AAA. That is understandable, completely. That is why Bill Davis, the Executive Director of the AAA, could state to Congress on January 12, 2012 that ?We know of no research that demonstrates a problem with the existing system for making the content of scholarly journals available to those who might benefit from it.? (See my September 2012 ?From the Editor? for citations and more discussion.)

The problem here is that we need to be concerned not just about the AAA, but anthropology in the broadest sense. ?Those who might benefit? from anthropological research are emphatically not just those persons who are AAA members, or who work at institutions that can afford an Anthrosource subscription. The people we study around the world deserve access to what we write. There is no reason we need to have a discipline of anthropology in the world. It is not inevitable. I for one do not have any particular investments in something called ?anthropology? for its own sake. Like basically any academic I ask about this nowadays, my approaches are deeply interdisciplinary (after all, my first degree is in music!). But anthropology has so much to offer?we produce incredibly insightful and creative work?and the more that work circulates, the more we justify our existence and contribute positively to the world. I want anthropological work to be read and cited as widely as possible and read by the most diverse audiences possible. I?ve been very lucky in that regard in my own career, to see my work read and debated, misread and misconstrued, literally remixed and transformed and translated. We want that for everyone.

That doesn?t mean that we always have to write in a manner that is accessible to the general public?genres are a good thing, and the academic article with theoretical ?jargon? is very useful for certain purposes. We want to be able to write in multiple voices and genres, and we want all of that work to be available to the widest audiences possible. Ideally, the AAA should play a leadership role in advocating for this kind of OA future. The problem is that we are all so busy and overworked, and we have to find models that are financially realistic. I sometimes joke that I want our model to be ?less like HBO and more like CBS,? where income is based not on subscription but some other modality. Of course, we don?t have the benefit of car or soap companies wanting to advertise on our pages! This is the impasse?but also the point of opportunity?at which we currently reside: the point of seeking a path forward that meets our goals but is also realistic. If I had an easy solution to that impasse I would certainly share it with you! But I continue to be optimistic that a path forward can be found, if we all work together and build on our incredible reservoir of talent.

RA: Last question. I want to conclude by talking about the future of publishing and communication in anthropology. Imagine how things are going to look 20 years down the road. Ideally, what would you like to see happen with OA, the AAA, and publishing in the discipline of anthropology? What kinds of things need to happen to make this a reality?

TB: Oh my! I?m not good at these kinds of questions. As I?ve said elsewhere, for an ethnographer like me, the problem with the future is that there is no way to study it. So such future imaginings really are just speculation and say much more about the anxieties of the present. But with that in mind, my ideal future is one where we find production models that support editors and journals in a sufficient manner, but under a gold OA model where our content is freely available and our place on the national and international stage continues to grow. I don?t have an easy way to get there, because my ideal future is one where editors are paid for their work. I emphasize this not just because labor should be remunerated, but because many talented potential editors work in institutions where they can get only minimal support for being an editor. If they had support to buy themselves out of teaching, for instance, this would open the world of editing to a greater presence of those outside major research universities.

I feel bad that I don?t have easy answers or perfect solutions to the problem of how we can successfully shift to a gold OA model. But what I?d like to leave people with is, first, a sense of the fact that some great people have been working for OA for years now, and we should continue to listen to them, learn from them, support them. Second, I set forth the hypothesis that the reason we have not been able to successfully move to a gold OA model is not that it is unworkable, but that we just have not been able to have sufficient conversations and advocacy to discover that viable path forward. I dearly hope that hypothesis is correct!

RA: Ok, I lied. I have one more question, and it?s a lot more grounded than the last one: What?s the next step we need to take to keep moving these conversations forward?

TB: There is a new AAA interest group around OA, the Digital Anthropology Group. We should support this group and get the most diverse set of voices possible involved in it. And we should keep having these kinds of conversations, and above all be gentle with each other. With our fellow anthropologists, with W-B and AAA staff. I have less and less patience for the quick comfort of donning a white hat and placing the black hat on others. If there was an easy answer we would have found it by now. But that does not mean that no answer is out there, not by a long shot.

RA: I definitely agree with you there! I think that?s a good place to leave things for now. Thanks, Tom, for taking the time to do this interview!

?

If you have any thoughts you would like to share or questions you would like to ask after reading through this interview, we are going to do a follow-up post and address all questions on September 15. Feel free to ask anything! So check out the interview, post your comments, ask questions, and check back in a couple weeks for the follow-up!

Ryan Anderson is a graduate student in anthropology at the University of Kentucky. His dissertation research focuses on the politics of tourism development in Baja California Sur. He is the editor of the collaborative online project anthropologies, and also blogs at ethnografix.

Source: http://savageminds.org/2012/08/29/opening-our-anthropological-conversations-an-interview-with-tom-boellstorff/

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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Nevada News Bureau ? Blog Archive ? State Officials Looking For ...

CARSON CITY ? A state panel was told today that for yet another two-year state budget, there will be virtually no money available from property tax revenues for capital construction projects.

The state Public Works Board heard the disappointing news today as it began a two-day review of projects being sought by state agencies ranging from the Department of Corrections to Tourism and Cultural Affairs.

Public Works Board Manager Gus Nu?ez said state agencies have submitted 201 projects worth $528 million for consideration for the upcoming budget. The state funding portion totals $460 million.

The Nevada State Museum in Las Vegas, one of the last major state construction projects.

The capital construction program for the current budget totals only $53 million, with $27 million in bonding from property taxes.

Jeff Mohlenkamp, state budget director and member of the board, said the state?s small share of property taxes has traditionally been used to finance bonds to pay for construction projects. But there is virtually no revenue in the current budget to fund projects, and the same is expected as the budget is prepared for the 2013-15 biennium.

?Once again we feel that there is going to be very little if any capacity for bonding within property taxes,? he said. ?Right now I?m currently in discussions with the Treasurer?s Office and believe that that is not going to be a source of additional bonding capacity for us to look at.?

Mohlenkamp said there are some other limited sources of funding, including unspent money from previously approved projects, highway funds and federal funds, which can contribute to the state capital construction program.

But property taxes have historically been the main funding source for projects.

Mohlenkamp said he is looking at an alternative source of funding but is not yet prepared to offer any details about what it would be.

?I?m currently working with the Treasurer?s Office and working internally with the governor?s office to try and identify a separate funding source to maybe generate some additional bonding capacity,? he said. ?I?m not in a position to be able to disclose exactly what that is yet or how much money we can get. I do believe it is going to be far short of the requested demand. And when I say far short I mean far short.

?However I also realize in having discussions with Gus that there are some critical needs the state has to address,? Mohlenkamp said.

In past sessions when the economy was strong, the Legislature would appropriate tens of millions of dollars for new buildings, from prisons to museums, relying on the property tax revenue growth.

But the ongoing recession in Nevada has eliminated the revenue as a funding source for at least the near term.

The first presentation heard by the board came from Peter Barton, administrator of the Division of Museums and History. The agency?s requested projects include new air conditioning to replace antiquated units at the Lost City Museum in the Moapa Valley and a new freight elevator at the Nevada State Museum in Carson City. The elevator has failed and is now out of service, he said.

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Audio clips:

State Budget Director Jeff Mohlenkamp says property taxes won?t be available for construction projects in the upcoming budget:

082912Mohlenkamp1 :22 to look at.?

Mohlenkamp says he is looking at alternative revenue sources to fund critical projects:

082912Mohlenkamp2 :32 has to address.?

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Source: http://www.nevadanewsbureau.com/2012/08/29/state-officials-looking-for-new-sources-of-funding-for-construction-projects-as-property-tax-revenues-falter/

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Stocks edge up after latest US growth numbers

NEW YORK (AP) ? Slightly better economic growth and and stronger housing sales helped nudge the stock market up in early Wednesday trading.

The Dow Jones industrial average edged up six points to 13,110 shortly after 10 a.m. EDT.

Major indexes opened slightly higher after the government said the economy grew at a slightly faster pace in the spring than first thought.

The U.S. economy expanded at a 1.7 percent annual rate from April through June thanks to slightly stronger consumer spending and exports. That's better than the initial estimate of 1.5 percent. But it's not enough to put a dent in the unemployment rate.

In other trading, the Standard & Poor's 500 index rose two points to 1,411, while the Nasdaq composite index inched up three points to 3,080.

Crude oil dipped back below $96. Hurricane Isaac made landfall Tuesday night, but its heavy winds and rain aren't expected to damage oil production and refinery operations in the Gulf of Mexico.

The National Association of Realtors said its index of sales for previously owned homes jumped 2.4 percent in July, reaching its highest level since April 2010, the last month that buyers could qualify for a federal tax credit.

A handful of companies reported earnings Wednesday. H.J. Heinz posted a 14 percent jump in quarterly net income, driven by higher prices and emerging-market sales.

Among other stocks making big moves:

? Joy Global sank 6 percent, the biggest drop in the S&P 500. The supplier of coal mining equipment reported results early Wednesday that missed analysts' estimates and also cut its full-year earnings outlook as demand for coal in the U.S. and China slows. The company's stock lost $3 to $50.08.

? Sealed Air Corp. jumped 8 percent, the S&P 500's biggest gain, after the food packaging company said a former Dow Chemical executive would take over when its current CEO retires. The former Dow executive has experience with mergers, and Sealed Air bought a cleaning and sanitation company last year. The company's stock gained $1 to an even $14.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/stocks-edge-latest-us-growth-numbers-142210465--business.html

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Bic pens 'for her' gets snarky Amazon reviews

Bic

"The delicate shape and pretty pastel colors make it perfect for writing recipe cards, checks to my psychologist (I'm seeing him for a case of the hysterics)," notes one reviewer about the "for her" pens.

Bic makes razors for women, and we'll buy those ? and do ? but pens for women? The writing instrument is getting scathing reviews on Amazon.com, where women ? and men?? are getting right to the point about these pastel pens that are irritatingly 1952.

Here's one description of the Bic Cristal for Her pens, as carried by a retailer:

Cristal For Her ballpoint pens are reserved for women and feature a diamond-engraved barrel for an elegant, unique feminine style. The tinted, hexagonal barrel is thinner for better handling for women and still keeps the ink supply visible.

And on Amazon, the pen is touted ? seriously ? as having an "elegant design ?? just for her!" ? and a "thin barrel to fit a women's (sic) hand."

"Someone has answered my gentle prayers and FINALLY designed a pen that I can use all month long!" wrote Tracy Hamilton in the reviews section on Amazon.com. "I use it when I'm swimming, riding a horse, walking on the beach and doing yoga.

"It's comfortable, leak-proof, non-slip and it makes me feel so feminine and pretty! Since I've begun using these pens, men have found me more attractive and approachable."

"Breemeup" wrote: "Finally! For years I've had to rely on pencils, or at worst, a twig and some drops of my feminine blood to write down recipes (the only thing a lady should be writing ever). I had despaired of ever being able to write down said recipes in a permanent matter, though my men-folk assured me that I 'shouldn't worry yer pretty little head.'

"But, AT LAST! Bic, the great liberator, has released a womanly pen that my gentle baby hands can use without fear of unlady-like callouses and bruises. Thank you, Bic!"

Bic

Virginia noted that "normal black pen casings are just so hard on the eyes. It was like a breath of fresh air to see lady colored pens.

"For once, I don't have to grip a giant, man-sized pen just to sign receipts at Saks. And the ink just hits the paper so smoothly, not at all like the rough, gritty man ink in Bic's normal pens."

These furiously funny fake reviews are not new to Amazon, by the way. (Read more about "Amazon's Most Famous Fake Reviews" here.)?

But the pen protests are quite on point.

"The delicate shape and pretty pastel colors make it perfect for writing recipe cards, checks to my psychologist (I'm seeing him for a case of the hysterics), and tracking my monthly cycle," wrote E. Bradley, who also calls herself "LuckyLady1978."

And P. Davies ? who says that his real name, but after reading his comments, we're not sure ? wrote: "First of all I'm a male. I picked a pink one up by mistake to write a quick note ... Next thing I know I'm sitting down to take a pee. Be careful."

DIY Network's Rob Van Winkle, aka Vanilla Ice, shares age-appropriate gizmos that will give your kids an edge as they head back to school, including a solar-powered backpack and a pen that is also an audio recorder.

?

More stories from Digital Life:

Check out Technolog, Gadgetbox, Digital Life and In-Game on?Facebook,?and on Twitter, follow Suzanne Choney.

Source: http://digitallife.today.com/_news/2012/08/28/13529379-bic-pens-for-her-unite-women-and-men-in-snarky-amazon-reviews

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Fire extinguished at Venezuela refinery

Workers of the state oil company, known as PDVSA, watch a fire that rises over the Amuay refinery near Punto Fijo, Venezuela, Monday, Aug. 27, 2012. A fire at the Venezuelan refinery spread to a third fuel tank on Monday nearly three days after a powerful explosion that killed 41 people and ignited the blaze, Vice President Elias Jaua said. (AP Photo/Ariana Cubillos)

Workers of the state oil company, known as PDVSA, watch a fire that rises over the Amuay refinery near Punto Fijo, Venezuela, Monday, Aug. 27, 2012. A fire at the Venezuelan refinery spread to a third fuel tank on Monday nearly three days after a powerful explosion that killed 41 people and ignited the blaze, Vice President Elias Jaua said. (AP Photo/Ariana Cubillos)

Fire rises over the Amuay refinery near Punto Fijo, Venezuela, Monday, Aug. 27, 2012. A fire at a Venezuelan refinery spread to a third fuel tank on Monday nearly three days after a powerful explosion that killed 41 people and ignited the blaze, Vice President Elias Jaua said. (AP Photo/Ariana Cubillos)

(AP) ? All fires have been extinguished at Venezuela's biggest oil refinery after raging for more than three days following a deadly explosion, officials said Tuesday.

State television reported that the flames had been put out in the three fuel tanks that had been ablaze, and showed images of one tank smoldering. The smoke rising from the Amuay refinery had diminished markedly by dawn on Tuesday.

An official of the state oil company Petroleos de Venezuela SA said firefighters were working to cool down one of the tanks. The official spoke on condition of anonymity because he wasn't authorized to speak publicly about the matter.

President Hugo Chavez had announced initial progress in fighting the blazes late Monday, saying in a message on Twitter that one of the tanks had been extinguished. That came after officials said earlier in the day that the fire had spread to a third tank.

The explosion early Saturday morning at the refinery killed at least 41 people and injured more than 150, Prosecutor General Luisa Ortega said.

Officials have said a gas leak led to the blast, but investigators have yet to determine the precise causes.

Criticisms of the government's response to the gas leak emerged from local residents as well as oil experts. People in neighborhoods next to the refinery said they had no official warning before the explosion hit at about 1 a.m. on Saturday.

The blast knocked down walls, shattered windows and left streets littered with rubble.

Amuay is among the world's largest refineries and is part of the Paraguana Refining Center, which also includes the adjacent Cardon refinery. Together, the refineries process about 900,000 barrels of crude per day and 200,000 barrels of gasoline.

____

Associated Press writer Fabiola Sanchez in Caracas contributed to this report.

Associated Press

Source: http://hosted2.ap.org/APDEFAULT/cae69a7523db45408eeb2b3a98c0c9c5/Article_2012-08-28-Venezuela-Refinery%20Explosion/id-962862d2bc474365b813f48449668376

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Column: 'Will it help us win games? Probably not.'

Let others debate whether the jinx even exists.

If I'm Dolphins coach Joe Philbin, I'm blaming "Hard Knocks" for the disastrous couple of months that lie ahead. The rookie coach inherited a team barely better than last season's 6-10 version and someone will have to take the fall once the NFL regular season ends unhappily, again, in Miami. And as all the coaches and quarterbacks who've had to do just that for several decades can attest, it's never too early to start pointing fingers at somebody else.

Admittedly, the curse attached to HBO's popular miniseries doesn't have the history or the cache ? yet ? that the cover of Sports Illustrated magazine and the Madden NFL video game do. The SI cover has enough documented cases for its own Wikipedia page and the game recently was featured in a Forbes magazine piece.

The "Hard Knocks" jinx got off to a similar start in 2001, when the network chose the fresh-off-a-Super-Bowl-win Baltimore Ravens as the subject for the show's debut. Training camp had barely opened when the team learned star running back Jamal Lewis was lost for the season after suffering an ACL tear and MCL sprain in his left knee. That effectively ended any chance the Ravens, who relied heavily on defense and a ground game, would repeat as champions. What the next few episodes of "Hard Knocks" became, beyond a launching pad for the TV career of then-Baltimore coach and current analyst Brian Billick, was the template for how NFL organizations attempt to cope with too much attention.

"Do I think this is going to help us win games?" Philbin asked the day after the first episode was aired, then answered his own question. "Probably not.

"Do I think this is going to cause us to lose games? I don't think so. Again," he added, "my focus is on the development of the team and not necessarily the TV show."

Yet there's a very good reason why teams like the Patriots, Packers, Giants and Steelers haven't volunteered for their turn in the limelight, and why HBO is finding it harder to convince even the needier owners and franchises to play along. The Cowboys tried it twice and both seasons began with promise and ended flat. The 2010 New York Jets, with coach Rex Ryan heading the most entertaining cast of characters on the show, appeared to defy the jinx by overcoming a raft of distractions and going all the way to the AFC title game before bowing out.

Two years later, the Jets are the only team so far this preseason to go without scoring a touchdown. Coincidence? I think not. Especially since the hapless Dolphins, winless in three tries, just happen to be the only team that has yet to even hold the lead in a preseason game. At that rate, there will plenty of blame to go around.

The Dolphins already lost veteran backup QB David Garrard to a knee injury, and wide receiver Chad Johnson (Ochocinco), who was expected to provide a big chunk of the drama, is out of a job following a domestic dispute. Also sent packing via a trade was former No. 1 pick Vontae Davis, whose spot in an already porous secondary will be inherited by a rookie.

Few fans will remember any of this between now and December and will pick on Philbin instead. It's easy to do in part because of his role in "Hard Knocks," where he comes off as a well-intentioned, but ultimately overmatched high school math teacher. He's seen wandering around the complex picking up gum wrappers and upbraiding players for not tying their shoelaces. In one unintentionally comic bit, veterans Reggie Bush, Karlos Dansby and Jake Long turn up in Philbin's office to ask the coach ? on camera ? to communicate more with his players. In the background, we glimpse the occasional sign touting that "Champions Train Here" and "Work Here" and "Play Here" when it hasn't been true in Miami, really, since the great Dolphins teams of early 1970s.

The reason why has little to do with Philbin, though you wouldn't know that from watching the first three episodes. If there's a real villain in this drama, it's owner Stephen Ross, who didn't buy his way into the front office until 2008, but can't resist hitting the reset button on his desk. His first plan was to give old NFL hand Bill Parcells total control. When that didn't produce wins or sell tickets, Ross tried to increase attendance by putting stars in the seats instead of on the field ? selling off bits of ownership to Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony, Jimmy Buffett, Gloria Estefan, Fergie and Venus and Serena Williams. That didn't work any better.

One of the reasons Ross has tried desperately to raise the Fins' profile is because of increased competition from Miami sporting rivals, the NBA champion Heat and MLB Marlins, who were the subjects of a "Hard Knocks" copycat called "The Franchise" on Showtime.

Expectations were high at the outset, but despite a spending spree, a new ballpark and the arrival of manager Ozzie Guillen, the Marlins reside in the NL East cellar. Full disclosure, as the Dolphins are about to be reminded, comes with a cost.

___

Jim Litke is a national sports columnist for The Associated Press. Write to him at jlitke(at)ap.org and follow him at Twitter.com/JimLitke.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/column-help-us-win-games-probably-not-004048629--nfl.html

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US Republicans nominate Romney as presidential candidate (reuters)

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Source: http://news.feedzilla.com/en_us/stories/politics/top-stories/244158771?client_source=feed&format=rss

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Tuesday, August 28, 2012

A buying decision is a change management problem | Sharon Drew ...

The sales model focuses on needs assessment and solution placement. Buying is a change management activity. They are two different activities, done at two different ? and opposite ? points along the buying decision journey.

Sales?models do not have the capability?to facilitate the buyer?s behind-the-scenes issues and activities to ensure they get the necessary buy-in to bring in an outside solution. But they should, because in the gap between the selling and the buying is where we lose our buyers, and they lose us.

WHEN DOES A BUYER? NEED TO BUY

Just because we perceive a need (And we are right! They do!) doesn?t mean?our prospects ?want it fixed, or fixed by us, or fixed now. We enter our conversations with a bias: we believe that our solution will rule the day:?find the need, pitch the solution. Bingo. Except then we sit and wait. And wait.

But the last thing a buyer needs is a solution. In fact, buyers don?t want to buy anything ? they merely need to resolve a business problem. If they are not able to resolve it with a familiar resource, they are forced to select a solution to purchase. But they don?t really want to.

When we enter with a solution ? even one that is?necessary ? buyers have a problem: how do they solve?their problem in the easiest, most cost-effective manner??It?s simpler to use an existing resource so less change is necessary. But?if they determine they must find a new provider, they must bring in the new solution?in a way that leaves their culture whole.?All things being equal they really don?t want to disrupt their routines.

BUYERS LIVE IN SYSTEMS

There is a disparity between the selling model and buying behaviors: solutions are ?things? and a buying decision is a change management issue. As per my latest book Dirty Little Secrets, buyers (like all of us) live in systems of people, rules, relationships, history and policies. Any ?problem? becomes part of the system, which develops work-arounds so it can keep on keepin?-on. So?when we gain weight, we buy new clothes rather than change our eating habits, work out more, stop drinking our wine. And?daily, the system wakes up doing the best it can.

When we approach prospects using the sales model (i.e. a search for a match between the need and the solution), we are acting as if the problem?were an isolated event rather than a part of a larger system of people and policies that maintain it. We don?t realize that they have already created a ?good enough??work-around for it.

It is only when ? and if ? the group of folks that touch the problem daily decide that a work-around isn?t good enough?AND they cannot fix it with a familiar resource, that they seek an external fix. Then, regardless of how well we?ve been selling, they have work to do:?1. they have to figure out how to ?go outside? for a solution; 2. they have to figure out how to get internal issues prepared for change.

HAVING A NEED DOESN?T MEAN A NEED FOR A SOLUTION

Our selling doesn?t provide us with another tool kit for change management ? what buyers do when they go off-line to manage their internal politics and relationship issues.

So what?are we supposed to do?

Here are our choices:

  • we sit and wait until they figure out how to get everyone together to decide;
  • we sit and wait until they get the full Buying Decision Team on board;
  • we pitch, send data, nurture, and hope we?ll be top-of-mind when they?ve put all of their ducks in a row;
  • we?begin with?a different focus: we?help them navigate through their buying decision path and shorten the sales cycle AND get onto the Buying Decision Team and thwart competitors.

The last option sounds the best, right? And yes, my Buying Facilitation??model is an add-on skill that works with sales to do this.

Given?you work within?a sales system, let me ask you to consider adding Buying Facilitation??skills to the sales skills you use:

How will you know when it?s time to consider adding a new skill to what you?re already doing successfully?

What skills/activities/beliefs?do you want to keep so anything new will not disrupt your normal functioning that you?ve become familiar with? And how would you like something new added in a way that maintains your activities and motivation?

What would you need to know about Buying Facilitation??before you consider an addition, to know if it would work for you? How difficult it would be to learn/add? What the downsides and upsides would be? How your boss/team would react when you begin selling differently?

What would you need to know from me, as the developer/seller, to know if you?d get the support you need to be successful?

It?s not about your solution. To really sell well, you must have 2 skills:?helping buyers?navigate through their back-end?change management issues;?place solutions.

Or just sit and wait for the low hanging fruit to drop. Remember that 80% of your prospects will buy a solution similar to yours within 2 years. They have the need ? they just haven?t figured out how to manage the change. Help them. And close more sales, quicker.

sd

Read sample chapters of Dirty Little Secrets. Or buy the book.

Hear Sharon Drew make cold calls, prospecting calls, and qualifying calls, live.

Learn Buying Facilitation? |?Implement Buying Facilitation? |?License Buying Facilitation?

Source: http://sharondrewmorgen.com/2012/08/a-buying-decision-is-a-change-management-problem/

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How Ryan Found the Spotlight (WSJ)

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Source: http://news.feedzilla.com/en_us/stories/politics/top-stories/243947246?client_source=feed&format=rss

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OPI Gel Nail Polish: No Longer the Best Polish For Your Fingers

While you might be thinking that the best polish available on the market is OPI gel nail polish, you'd be wrong. In fact, you will be surprised to find that there is a whole line of colors that can surpass the quality and beauty of nails that have been painted with OPI. More and more women are discovering this new polish and finding that they stand out more and their polish stays on longer than with any other brand on the market.

OPI gel nail polish has been regarded as one of the most popular and best nail polish makers on the market for years now. Their wide selection of colors has been available in drugstores throughout the country for quite some time. However, your nails deserve more than just drugstore quality polish, you want something that is going to last you for more than a day or two after you polish your nails. Every woman wants their polish to look as freshly painted on the third day, just as they were on the first, and unfortunately there aren't many polishes that can do this for you.

Although OPI gel nail polish is a step above other polishes that you might pick out at the local drugstore, it certainly is not going to give you the same glamorous look of a new manicure that other gel polishes will though. Every woman wants a color that shimmers but without the gloppy look that other polishes give. Not to mention, you want to have access to every color that you can imagine, whether you want to match the season, the event you are attending or merely just the way you feel. Not all drugstore brands will sell a wide array of colors, you are typically limited to about a dozen colors, all of which might be various shades of pink that you already have.

The application process for your nail polish is also important, as you want your polish, whether nail polish OPI or not, to go on smoothly, yet dry so that they feel lightweight. If you can't make it to the salon every week, you want an affordable and quality alternative, right? Unfortunately, OPI gel nail polish can't provide you with that same quality that a salon would provide, you want something that professional salon specialists would use themselves.

If you are searching for something better than OPI gel nail polish, then you can certainly have it with quality, salon style polish. Don't feel limited by the best nail polish around that your drugstore claims to offer, venture out and see what your nails have been screaming for.

Nail polish is a standard part of many people's daily fashion habits. Another thing that is used to enhance the beauty of your nails is OPI gel nail polish. To check out some of the nail tips, you can simply browse www.nailuvpolish.com.

Source: http://articles.submityourarticle.com/opi-gel-nail-polish-no-longer-the-best-polish-for-your-fingers-290426

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Monday, August 27, 2012

Workers Compensation

Our premium audit bill just arrived. I have questions on how our final bill was calculated and how our Workers Comp policy was written. How do I know if my gut feeling is correct? I received the above question on Saturday. If you have a gut feeling something is amiss, that is usually the best indication of an error in your policy. You may want to go through a List Of Red Flags concerning your Workers Compensation coverage.

The one from the list that seems to cause the most concern is - was the audit brief and superficial? In this downward spiral economy, insurance carriers are cutting overhead in many ways including personnel. Premium auditors and other insurance personnel are being asked to take on much more of a load than usual. There may not be enough time allotted to properly audit your Workers Comp.

The most important thing to do is to not let the bill and audit report sit on your desk with no response. There are many deadlines with your premium bill. Your bill may say that you have five days to pay. However, most times you have 30 days to pay or dispute the premium audit bill. The number of days varies from state to state.

I have seen many companies have to pay bills because they let the deadlines pass without any action. Phone calls and emails are great, but letters always provide the best documentation.

If you feel that your concerns are not being met or that you are unsure of how to exactly proceed, it may best to consult with a workers compensation premium expert.

Labels: premium audit auditor bill

Source: http://blogs.cutcompcosts.com/2012/08/our-premium-audit-bill-just-arrived-and.html

Kristen Stewart Rupert Sanders Photos BBC 2016 Olympics

Live Like an Olympic Athlete: 9 Tips to Gain a Competitive Edge in Life

Live Like an Olympic Athlete: 9 Tips to Gain a Competitive Edge in Life











Mary Louise Zeller

Orem, Utah (PRWEB) August 13, 2012

Once every 4 years, the best athletes in the world meet to compete in humanity?s greatest unifying tradition?the Olympics. The world gets to celebrate the phenomenal athletes that dedicate years to prepare for the games and work full time to maintain peak physical and mental condition. For the rest of us though, life goes on, and it can be a struggle to feel 100% all the time.

To celebrate the 2012 London Olympics, the life solutions experts at TUHF Incorporated with the help of former Olympic Athlete Mary Louise Zeller reveal 9 supplements for gaining a competitive edge.

1.Wild Alaskan Blueberries

The world?s greatest antioxidant. A study done by MIT says the blueberry is higher in antioxidant value than any fruit or vegetable. The Wild Alaskan Blueberry has 20-40 times higher antioxidant value than the domestic blueberry. Blueberries are more powerful than Cranberries for urinary tract health.

2. B Complex

Every woman needs at least 25 mg. of a good B Complex to remain sane with all their hormone shifts. B vitamins are essential for nerve health and stress relief.

3. Raspberries

These berries have strong anti-inflammatory, anti-bacterial and anti-fungal functions. They are high in Vitamin C and support healthy digestion.

4. Grapes, Grape Skin and Grape Seed Extract

Grapes are known for their anti-aging properties, as a potent antioxidant and for its anti-viral and anti-inflammatory actions at the cellular level. Excellent for the skin, heart and brain.

5. Goji or Wolfberry

The perfect food . It has 18 essential amino acids It has omega 3s and Omega 6s and also is incredible rich in antioxidants. It helps maintain a healthy immune system and enhances mineral absorption.

6. Taurine

As an amino acid it supports muscle function and energy from the cell level.

It gives you a sense of wellbeing, a burst of energy but not a stimulation effect, but energy all day long.

7. Wild Alaskan Sockeye Salmon Oil

Omega-3 fatty acids are categorized as essential fatty acids because they are required by the body yet can?t be produced by the body. Wild Alaskan Sockeye Salmon produces a high quality Omega-3. The Sockeye Salmon only feeds on Krill so you get the benefits of both salmon and krill. Omega-3s reduce inflammation and are known to reduce triglyceride levels, reduce the risk of heart disease, and promote optimal circulatory health. It also promotes overall brain health including improved memory and stress relief. Be sure to get an Omega-3 product that is Mercury free.

8. Tocotrienols

This form of Vitamin E is shown to lower cholesterol and promote healthy blood sugar levels. In the 1990?s, tocotrienols started being investigated for their anti-carcinogenic properties. The most powerful source of tocotrienol comes from the seeds of the tropical Annatto bush.

9. Nitric Oxide

Touted as a powerful, health promoting molecule by tens of thousands of scientific papers, Nitric Oxide (NO) is known as ?The Molecule of Life? because it repairs, defends and maintains every cell of the body. You can?t take natural Nitric Oxide but you can take a NO Precursor which will increase the production of NO in the body. After the age of 25, we naturally start producing less NO so this is really essential to maintaining a youthful body and activity.

?I?m an old athlete who likes to play and I like to have a body that can keep doing my dreams,? said Zeller. ?I don?t think losing the ability to do the things we all love to do is a great reward for a life well lived. So I intend to prove the decline of aging is only one possible choice. That the other is to be vitally alive with every breath of life.?

About Mary Louise Zeller:

Mary Louise Zeller is an accomplished author and 6th degree Black Belt and Master Instructor in Olympic Sport Taekwondo. Her accomplishments include training with the 2000 U.S. Olympic Team in Colorado Springs, Colorado. She is a 20-time U.S. National and 9-time International Gold Medalist and a US Martial Arts Hall of Fame inductee as a competitor (2004) and as an instructor (2005).

About TUHF Incorporated:

TUHF Incorporated is the lifelong project of Debbie Langley. As a life solutions expert she has been coaching others and providing recommendations for healthy, all-natural supplements and holistic healing modalities through her home based business for over a decade. Debbie has overcome accidents, sickness, and debilitating injuries and lives her life to help others do the same. By providing the tools for a better life, Debbie aims to show others how they can live life on their own terms and experience better health, more wealth and a beautiful life.



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Open Relationship Questions (Answered) | suggestive

What separates an open relationship from a friendship? If you?re having sex with multiple people, what keeps that relationship special, something different from the other relationships you have?

If you have one friend, why would you want a second one? Does having more than one friendship make another friendship less special or unique? That?s how I read this question, and when you phrase it like that, it sounds silly. I love going out to dinner with my boyfriend but just because I like to go out to dinner with a friend of mine doesn?t mean that going out to dinner with my boyfriend is somehow spoiled by that. It?s not interconnected. The real difference? I?ve been with my boyfriend for almost five years now. Each and every moment we have builds upon the rest of the moments, creating a partnership, a relationship, and a loving commitment to one another. We?are friends. We?re best friends. But we?re also individuals. And lovers. And partners. And a million other things. And in our lives we have other friends, and other people that we love and care for. Having those things doesn?t influence how we interact with one another or how we feel for one another. If anything I would say it makes us lucky because we both understand and accept one another and our individual experiences as well as the experiences we have with one another.

We don?t define our togetherness by my vagina and your penis are holding hands and never letting go!?We define our togetherness by the decisions we make every day to be together and to act as partners. It?s our feelings that make our relationship special and unique. It?s how we choose the rules and boundaries for our relationship that makes it unique. It?s how we end the day together, cooking dinner in pajamas, watching television that makes it unique. It?s spending time with one another?s family and going on vacations that makes it unique. It?s the wanting to grow together that makes it unique. It?s the memories we have and will make that makes it unique.

It?s not what we do with our genitals.

It?s also important to note that an open relationship is not defined but it?s ?other people you?ve slept with? qualities. I can only speak about my experiences ? and all open relationships have some different qualities to them. For me, an open relationship is like your typical monogamous relationship, with a more relaxed quality. You acknowledge your emotions and desires for others, even if you don?t act on them. You express your love for people you love ? without fear of judgement or admonishment from your partner. You grow in your relationship by growing yourself, with experiences you have outside of your relationship. You may form other important relationships in your life with people who are close to you. In some open relationships, people have more than one partner. People who are also important in their life, who they may tell their secrets to, or confess their emotions to. An open relationship can be many things, and to assume that it?s based on it?s sexual quality is? too easy. Then again, opening up pandoras box of multiple loves can make open relationships even more difficult to talk about ? for even people who believe that sex can be separated from love may not believe in the ability to have multiple loves.

Shortly put: An open relationship is many things, but what it is not is a subtractor of love or emotion.

What does a week look like in an open relationship??

Most days of the week are pretty typical. Read, write, study, run errands, spend time with my friends. My boyfriend and I typically spend every night together, alternating back and forth from my apartment to his. We also try to cook dinner every night, so most nights end in the kitchen with some movie on in the background. We keep a pretty good eye on the extracurriculars in our relationship and do our best to make sure things are balanced. Each week we?ll spend time with our friends apart from one another, and we?ll have an occasional night out. Right now we go on ?dates? about once every other week. A busy week would be going on more than one date. A slow month would be when we don?t see anyone, which has happened more than once.

The date may range anywhere from getting coffee with someone we think is cute to going out dancing to getting drinks to having a threesome or a kiss. If the both of us aren?t involved (threesome) we communicate fairly well throughout the evening. We have a hard time limit of 12:30AM for returning, a recently created boundary that allows us to chit-chat after the other person returns and hear about their night and how it went. So in any given week we?ll be ?practicing? our open relationship for probably about 4 hours. The rest of the time we?re pretty indistinguishable from any other couple, spare the ability to flirt a little harder.

You?ve mentioned in the past that you can?t get everything from one partner, and an open relationship might help you be happier. What are some things that you don?t get from your primary relationship?

This is an awesome question, but it?s not exactly like that. We both believe that one person cannot be everything all the time. Everyone has their own personality. Their own likes and dislikes. That?s what makes them unique. Just because I may want the ability to satisfy myself in?more ways, doesn?t mean that I wasn?t satisfied. It?s a hard one. I?m happy, but why not be happier? Let?s go for an easy example. My boyfriend really likes electronic music but he?s not a huge fan of indie. He likes to read, but he doesn?t have a huge stack of books by his bed every night like me. I have lots of people in my life that I can talk to about indie music and current popular books because those things satisfy me, and talking about them satisfies me. I definitely share my music tastes and what I?m reading with my boyfriend, but it?s also refreshing to share those experiences with someone who feels similarly to you. On his end, he is more into the tech world. I like technology, but a lot of it is over my head. We?ll share bits and pieces together, but it?s nice for him to have someone else to talk to about that stuff who understands it more from his perspective and who he can talk to about coding and whatnot. You might be saying ?That sounds a lot like a friend.? And you?d be right. Part of the open relationship is allowing more intimate friendships in, and letting ourselves be comfortable with the idea of sharing bits and pieces of ourselves with other people who we can relate to, and being able to do so while still sharing ourselves with each other. It?s also nice to occasionally kiss a woman, since, y?know, my boyfriend is a man. A lot of women get into open relationships so they can experiment with their bisexuality.

What words do you use when explaining an open relationship to someone else?

I still remember some sliver of what it felt like to not know anything about open relationships. It really took me experiencing it for myself to understand. That mentality helps me remember to take it easy when I?m talking to people about my relationship. I try not to use words that come with stereotypes. Most of them do. I have never met an open relationship that was like another open relationship ? they?re all different. Some of the reactions I?ve had when I?ve told my friends I?m in one have been:

- So wait, you?re single?

- Are you guys still doing that thing or are you back together?

- Does this mean you can do whatever you want now?

Using the word poly can be even more dangerous. A lot of people still confuse polyamory and polygamy. The difference being loving more than one person or being open to the idea/concept of having love to share, and having more than one husband/wife ? a practice often bastardized on reality television. I am not a polygamist, and I hardly consider myself a polyamorist, despite many people labeling me as such. ?Oh, you?re in an open relationship? I?m poly too!? While I do believe in multiple loves and the ability to love more than one person (and I do love many people, in many ways) neither boyfriend nor I have been interested in having more than one partner. We?re not interested in having secondary partners. We?re not interested in ?dating? other people. There is a thin line, since we really do enjoy our close intimate friendships we have with people? but for us, there is a difference. But I go back and forth on the word poly and how I feel about it. Sometimes it feels applicable, sometimes it doesn?t.

Most of the time I use ?open relationship? and then take the time to explain the very basics of what our boundaries are. Depending on who I?m talking to this varies. Sometimes open relationship means ?oh, we just make our own rules about what is okay.? Sometimes it means ?yeah, we have threesomes sometimes, its fun.? Sometimes its ?Oh? uh, we?re not actually open right now, its just something we do sometimes.? (Usually only if the person is a real nag.)

Most of the time I don?t explain it at all, and when people find out ?Well, gee, you certainly don?t seem like?one of those people.? And that?s a whole different blog post. Yikes.

What if you met someone that caused drama in your relationship or someone that you or your boyfriend didn?t like? I would be worried that he would like someone that I didn?t like.

The both of us have veto power. In other relationships there may be a don?t ask don?t tell policy or a sense of ?It?s your life, you do what you want in it.? For us, we like making sure that the decisions we make reflect back positively on our relationship as a whole. We like being involved. If he met someone that I really didn?t like, or vice versa, we just wouldn?t go there. Period. If someone was causing drama we would stop seeing them or not get involved to start with. That said, our process of meeting people is pretty intense. I would never meet someone who wasn?t pro-choice, sex-positive, knowledgable or accepting of open relationships (if they aren?t actually in one themselves) and I wouldn?t meet someone who I wouldn?t want to be friends with. I really feel a situation out. I make sure that they are healthy, safe, smart people. So does he. Some people we keep in our life and we develop some sort of friendship with them and continue to see them, sometimes we see someone once, are satisfied from having met them, and we choose not to see them again. It feels fairly natural. Lastly: We both have pretty similar taste in women and men. We?re both looking for the same thing. Both of those things really help us avoid bad experiences.

What, if any, issues have you had in making an open relationship work?

Most of the ?negative? emotions we have could be associated with envy. ?I wish I was there right now experiencing that? is a good example of that. We?ve dealt with that by keeping in touch with texting while we?re out, and by making sure we have a end time set. As noted above, the end time is 12:30AM. That means you?re back home by 12:30AM to talk about how the night went. Text messages are usually things like ?Just got here? or ?They?re great!? or ?I?m so excited, this is going really well, I?ll probably be back in about an hour.? The envy is a pretty predictable human reaction, and we get through it just dandy. There is nothing like being back together at the end of the night and hearing about what a great time everyone had ? something that is called ?compersion? ? or happiness from your partner being happy.

Another tough one can be making sure that the third party knows what to expect. We?ve had some tough times making sure everyone understands that we?re not necessarily looking for boyfriends/girlfriends, or that our time is not readily available whenever someone wants to spend time with us. We often plan in advance, and keep busy with other things going on in our lives.

How would I broach the subject about an open relationship with someone? I?m in a wonderful relationship, but I wish I had met her later in my life. Aside from wanting to know how to broach the subject, I?m curious why everyone isn?t in an open relationship??

Let?s start with the last bit. In my last relationship I hit this point where I realized that despite my relationship being perfectly lovely, I did not want him to be the only person I ever slept with. The last person I would ever kiss. I didn?t want that to be it for me. I was way too young. I hadn?t experienced anything else in my life. As common place as these ideas seemed to me, I had to also accept that some people truly only want to be with one person for their entire life. And if you have the idea that something will make you happy, when you get it? it probably will. A lot of people do want to be monogamous. Either because they aren?t familiar with what an open relationship could entail, or they just don?t care. They are satisfied with what they?ve got, and they don?t want to experiment with more. It?s a mentality that I personally grew away from and have a harder time relating to these days, but it?s perfectly okay, and a lot of people are fulfilled by it. That said, a lot of people slip into monogamous relationships because that?s what they?re supposed to do. This can lead to unhappy relationships, settling, infidelity, and an overwhelming lack of experimentation ? sometimes resulting in not actually being able to explore what you like/dislike. Since not every one person provides the same experiences, after all. I?ve met a lot of people since I started writing about this who are surprised by what an open relationship can be, and think it?s might be right for them. The tough part is breaking through a lot of the stereotypes, getting your partner on board if thats something they are curious about as well, and then walking off the beaten path of ?should? to do what you want to do.

How do you broach the subject? ?I love you but I want to see other people? is how it feels, but that?s probably not the best thing to say. It can be pretty standard to think ?If you really loved me, you wouldn?t need anything else.? I think that?s why it?s a good idea to start simple. With concepts. The idea of a threesome, a fantasy of watching your partner with someone else, expressing jealous feelings and battling them together, talking about your potential futures together, or experiences you?ve had in the past. You can also be straightforward and say ?I?ve been really curious about the idea of having an open relationship. This is how I would like it to look.? Never leave it at ?open relationship? because as mentioned above, everyone has a different view of what that means. If you say ?I want an open relationship? your partner could hear that as ?I want to have sex with whoever I want and still be with you.? That might not be the case for you, so it?s important to really sit down and explain where you?re coming from, what you?re looking for, and ways in which you two can experiment with it safely to see if it?s something that works in your relationship. It can be scary. Do it together.

If your partner is not interested in an open relationship, that?s a different story. You can continue to read literature together about it, if they?re open to that. But many people won?t be. And sometimes that?s the dividing point where you have to ask yourself if you want to continue to be monogamous, or if you want to take everything you?ve gained from your relationship and move on to something new. There are ways to spice up monogamous relationships that don?t involve inviting in third parties. But nothing can replace the experiences you have from someone completely new, who brings completely new things to the table. It all depends on what sort of experiences you are personally looking for and how the two of you can reach out and find those experiences.

Thanks for submitting your questions. If you have any more questions, please submit them by clicking ?ASK? at the top. This was my mega-post, but I will be happy to answer any other questions?individually?on my blog if there are some?stragglers. ?

Source: http://suggestivetongue.com/2012/08/27/open-relationship-questions-answered/

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